Picture 5 - Confessions of a Rocker

I have a confession to make. Today, I rocked my baby until he fell asleep. Yes I did. All of the baby experts (the ones I've read anyway) say, "don't let the baby fall asleep in your arms, put him in the crib drowsy," etc. I know this is so the baby will learn to soothe himself and fall asleep on his own and all that. And E is really good at falling asleep on his own when I put him down at night in his crib; I really have tried to "follow the rules" when it comes to sleeping. When I would first talk to friends when E was only a few weeks old, I even had a couple of friends say, "you put him down while he's still awake, right?" and other similar comments. So apparently it's the cardinal sin to actually let your baby fall asleep in your arms these days. I have to tell the voices in my head (who are these voices anyway?!) that it's ok if sometimes, just sometimes, it's ok for E to fall asleep while I rock him. While I hold him I think how beautiful he is. I lay my cheek on his cheek, or on top of his head. I nuzzle his hair. I press my lips on the back of his little baby hand. And just drink him in. After I get my fill of loving on my little boy, I gently get up and place him in his crib, or bassinet. There is some little ditty out there, something like, "cobwebs settle down, dust go to sleep, I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep." My own version would probably be more like, "the funk in the shower hasn't killed us yet, the dog hair on the stairs isn't going anywhere; right now, I'm rocking my baby - so there." I know the day will come when I will be watching him play soccer when he's 6 years old, and walk across the graduation stage at age 18; I don't want to look back and wonder why I didn't just sometimes listen to ME and rock the baby to sleep. Sleep tight, my little angel.....