Ramblings from the Pumpkin Patch Question

Last week (or was it week before last? Time is flying by), Eli and I went to Dewberry Farms with my sister in law and her homeschool group. We met this friend of Laura's named Kathleen. She also had a son who was just about 2 or 3 weeks younger than E, and an older daughter closer to Rachel's age. As we were talking about baby stuff, she caught me off guard with a question - "What surprised you the most about motherhood?" I paused, stammered, not sure what to say - I hadn't really thought of that before. I started to answer something about how the changes in my body kind of freaked me out, but we were interrupted (not sure by what, we were standing in line for the hayride with a bunch of people, so it could have been anything, my memory fails me). We got back on topic after a few minutes, and she told me her greatest surprise was how she worried about her children. "I slept with them, held them all the time, couldn't let them out of my sight those first few months," she told me. "I was so worried about SIDS, about something bad happening to them." I don't remember how I responded, I supposed the line moved and it was our turn to board the wagon for the ride to the pumpkins, and the conversation was over.

I wish I could answer her question now, because I think I have an answer. And, my answer is totally different than Kathleen's. Overwhelming love. I don't care how cliche, or cheesy, or whatever that sounds like, it's totally true. There have been times I have been totally knocked over by the force of how much I love my child. Sure, I imagined how devasting it would be if something "bad" happened to him, but it all came back to how much I loved him. I could, and still can, just stare at him in all his cuteness, and want to just hold him close to my heart. Whoever said, "Having a child is like having a piece of your heart walk around forever outside your body" was totally right. I love my family, I love my husband, I love my pets - but the love for your child is something different, something unexplainable. And awesome. I thank God every day for giving me this gift, this gift of our child.

So now, if someone suddenly asks me that question again, I know how to answer it.