cake: FAIL

I've been buried in adoption paperwork for the past couple of weeks, and thought about blogging about it, but, it's really not that exciting, filling out applications and autobiographies. I am quite proud of the family scrapbook that I'm working on so the birth mother has something to look at and get to "know" us, but it's not finished, and I could type for days about that book and this paperwork but if I'm sick of reading and writing about myself, don't want my blog audience to get sick of me too. So off to write about and yet another disastrous dessert attempt. And, I have pictures, which always makes for more interesting blog reading.

Remember last year when I tried TWICE to make cookies for our new neighbor and messed them up both times?? Well today, I was set to make a dessert for a family at church. As part of the Mercy Meals ministry, we provide meals for families that need help with a birth in the family, or sickness, stuff like that. Others were making the meal for this particular family, so I said I would do the dessert. Since it was not a dessert for us, I decided to go whole hog and find something really GOOD (read: lots of butter and not low fat), so I found a chocolate cake recipe in the Pioneer Woman cookbook (great cookbook, great blog by the way). I melted butter and cocoa, I put in the eggs, I did it all, and poured the yummy concoction into a 17 inch jelly roll pan. I then turned to my oven. My dumb, too small oven. Totally forgot that our tiny oven cannot hold that size of a pan!! Drats. I remembered in the cookbook she said you could make cupcakes too, so, I pulled out the muffin tins. Didn't have any baking cups, but sprayed them really well. Now, I just had to pour the mixture from a JELLY ROLL PAN into muffin tins. Yeah, a really easy task. I tried to ladle it off the pan into the tins, pour at an angle....it was a mess. The dessert was quickly going downhill, along with the possibility that it would see the light of day in a friend's home. I managed to get a tin filled and put it in the oven. It was now time to make the icing, the icing that called for a POUND of powdered sugar. I thought, well, what the heck, might as well make it and see if I can ice these suckers. Well, I didn't read the part where you weren't supposed to fill the tins as much as you would with regular cupcakes, because you have to pour this really thin icing on top. So I poured the icing onto the mound of the cupcakes, which of course spilled down the sides of the cupcakes, leaving the tops empty at times, and icing all over the pan. Here are those beauties:

And of course, they wouldn't come out of the pan nicely by any means. I ate one straight from the pan with a fork. Pretty tasty actually. And for someone who loves sugar (a little too much), I actually thought the icing was too sweet!

Here's what it's supposed to look, a picture from the cookbook (it's not that great of a picture, taken with the phone):

Annnnnnd, here's a picture of what the family REALLY got for their dessert tonight:

Tres Leches cake from Kroger, and some cute puppy cupcakes.

Our Gift Awaits

We met with the director of the adoption agency yesterday, and now the wheels are in motion for this whole adoption thing to really happen. The wheels are churning, along with my stomach and nerves! There are so many steps to be completed, it's overwhelming. Not impossible - just overwhelming. Doug and I are working through the steps, little bits at a time. He spent almost all day on Tuesday, working on making the floorplan/blueprint of the house (required for the application packet). I've started the Book, the one that will tell all about our family and that the birth mother will look through, the Book that will help her decide if we are The Family for her unborn child. There are more questions to answer about ourselves, our family, what was life for us growing up - tons of questions that the agency needs to know as they get to know US, get to know Doug and I, so they can match us up with a birth mother. More meetings to attend. Not impossible, just overwhelming, needs to be handled one step at a time.

I'm struggling now with a little bit of fear, as we approach the time to make some tough decisions as we move forward. God has led both Doug and I this far - both led to adopt, both led to investigate Arrow/Foster to Adopt, allowed us to realize that was not the best route for us, led us to AIM (private agency), led us this far - I know He won't stop leading us now. We have important information we need to decide about and tell the director next week at the all day orientation. Decisions that have significant impact on this whole process. Sorry to sound so vague, I want to blog about my feelings on all this, without going into too much detail, because there are definitely parts of this process that are a little too personal to be broadcast, and yet I need to write and get this all out of my head. I've been praying off and on today, and doing some tasks - cleaning out a closet, actually - tasks that allow my mind to wander and ponder.

After Eli's naptime, we put on swimsuits and went in the backyard to initiate the new slip 'n slide I bought the other day. I was still in somewhat of a pensive mood, watching E splash in the water that had puddled in the middle of the slide. Enjoying watching him delight in the simple pleasure of splashing, and putting his hands in the streams of water coming out of the sides of the slide. The phrase just hit me, Children are a Gift, a Gift from God. So simple, yet so meaningful. A Gift. When you are given a Gift from the best gift giver there is, you don't complain, or think it's going to be something that doesn't fit, or you wouldn't like - you just say, Thank You, thank you for this beautiful gift. God gives good and perfect gifts to His children. In this case, this gift of a child, a new life. A child for us to raise, to be part of our family.  A child to love, and who will love us. We have to trust that God will equip us with the means to handle different issues that are guaranteed to pop up throughout this child's life. That He will show us the best way to handle all of this financially; not just funding the adoption itself, but in general adding another member to our family who will need a place to sleep, clothes, be fed - you know, all that good stuff.

So, we await our gift, that little one that is out there, waiting to become part of our family. We appreciate your prayers right now as we go through this process- and I really mean that, we honestly and seriously covet your prayers. We couldn't go through this without the support of our family and friends. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Next blog post will be more fun with pictures and such, I promise! :)